


Only Teardrops

by I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own



Series: Suilad Aran Thranduil [14]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: I do not know what happened here., I seriously do not know what happened here, omfg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 10:51:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2022369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own/pseuds/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One day we will leap into the abyss together and pull each other down as we claw at each other’s throats.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only Teardrops

**Author's Note:**

> Only Teardrops (by Emmelie De Forest) is like my favourite song currently, I think. And it's also my Thranduil and Legolas are arguing again song. Because I have a few of those. 
> 
> Also, originally this was gonna actually follow the songs message which is 'stop fighting' but somehow it ended up with 'we can't stop fighting' and I do not know how that happened!!! Why?

_The sky is red tonight_  
 _We're on the edge tonight_  
 _No shooting star to guide us_

The sky is always red on this night every year, on this night every year since the year she died. What a way to honour her. What a way to honour all that she was and all that she did, and all that she gave me.

It is different this time, this time there is the potential for our blood to grace the air. This time we’re standing on different sides of that precipice and we’re ready to throw ourselves over if it means we have even the smallest chance at striking the other. She does not watch over us tonight, not even Earendil watches over us tonight. There is no one watching over us, there is nothing to guide us, or protect us but ourselves.

_Eye for an eye_  
 _Why tear each other apart?_  
 _Please tell me why_  
 _Why do we make it so hard?_  
 _Look at us now_  
 _We only got ourselves to blame_  
 _It's such a shame_

We are warriors. We are soldiers. We are royals. We are family, but even family isn’t enough to stop you from striking when instinct is screaming at you to ‘save yourself, save yourself, protect yourself, strike for the heart, go for the kill. Do what you must to survive.’ You tear me down with your words and I scream back at you the things I know will hurt most and it never seems to end. Wound on top of wound on top of wound and we keep striking and someday I fear it will truly come to blows.

Our bond should have grown stronger with her loss but instead whatever progress me make in a year is lost on this night every year without end, and the next morning we’re left to pick up whatever pieces remain. Often those pieces shatter further in our fumbling hands, and they cut us so deeply we need stitches, so many stitches, and we have no one to blame for these cuts but ourselves. The scars that litter our hands, the scars that make up the mess we call our hearts, we have no one to blame for those but ourselves. How did it come to this?

_How many times can we win and lose?_  
 _How many times can we break the rules?_  
 _Between us_  
 _Only teardrops_

Neither of us wins. Not these stupid little… well, no, they’re not little, are they? They never are little. Sometimes they start out that way but they never end that way, they escalate always and never seem to stop and by the end what we thought was a fight over a spilled glass of wine is really a fight over the spilled blood of a loved one and suddenly everything makes sense. Neither of us wins, but neither of us loses. How can you lose something when neither side knows what constitutes a win? What constitutes a loss? If winning is the last laugh in the fight than surely it would feel better than a churning in your gut and a cold hand squeezing your heart, which feels no different to how losing feels if a loss is being the first to fall speechless. No one wins. No one loses. How long will this go on?

When we fight, we form little unspoken rules that somehow both of us follow, up until the point where we don’t anymore. Up until the point where we grab hold of the rules and we throw them into the deep, dark, desolate pit where we discard our love for each other. All is fair in love and war but when we fight, when we wage war against each other there is no love between us. When we fight we forget what love is, we forget that we love each other, we forget that we are all either one has left. How long will we go through this process before we wake up one morning and we can’t remember what love is?

On these nights, on these red nights there is nothing between us but bitterness, tears, and anger, and it seems it will always be this way.

_How many times do we have to fight?_  
 _How many times till we get it right?_  
 _Between us_  
 _Only teardrops_

It has been every year so far, every year on this night without fail. There’s always something, some stupid little thing that gets us going at each other’s throats and everything goes to chaos from there. Every. Single. Year. Without. Fail. How long will this go on? How long until we take our _blades_ to each other’s hearts instead of our _words_? How long till the pain and anger and fear settles down from a violent boil to a gentle simmer? How long until we stop seeing the red in the sky and trying desperately to make it darker. How long until love is the only thing that refuses to exist between us?

_So come and face me now_  
 _Here on the stage tonight_  
 _Let's leave the past behind us_

We could fix this. We could solve this, but it is an option we cannot ever allow, we’d have to leave the past behind and that means leaving her, and even if we fight over her, even if we do her a great disservice by fighting over her on her Death Day, we are not forgetting her. We are not letting her be lost to the history books and dreams we will not walk for fear of the pain waking would bring. We will not forget her.

The stage is set.

_Only teardrops_  
 _Only teardrops_  
 _Oh... only teardrops_  
 _Only teardrops_

There is nothing between us on nights like these. On the Red Night, on the day we lost her. Nothing between us but tears. Nothing but sadness. Nothing but heartache. Nothing but anger.

One day we will leap into the abyss together and pull each other down as we claw at each other’s throats.

There is nothing between us now…

_Only teardrops._


End file.
